Oh My Absolution
by Floccinaucinihilipilifications
Summary: MUSE: Matt Bellamy, Dominic Howard and Christopher Wolstenholme rent a nice cottage in summer break, but things get weirder and weirder, I recommenced this story for weird Musers like me :
1. Oh My Absolution

It was a warm and sunny morning in the UK. MUSE decided that they would come back to their hometown for the summer holidays. Matthew James Bellamy lay on his couch in the summer cottage that they were renting for the entire holidays,  
>he lay fast asleep with his arm draped over the side of the sofa, he looked especially peaceful with drool hanging out the corner of his mouth, he looked like the spitting image of Dom's dog, Hendrix who lay on his dog bed across the other side of the room. Hendrix lay on his back with his paws up in the air, he too was drooling and breathed in heavily, this corsed him to gurgle loudly. This startled Matt, his eyes flickerd open and he tilted his head up to see Hendrix drooling and gurgling in his bed. Matt was annoyed with Hendrix, he needed his beauty sleep. 'I need to be pretty' Matt thought.<br>He put the pillow over his ears, but he could still hear Hendrix gurgle.

Matt gurgled back at him. Hendrix gurgled again. Matt gurgled. Hendrix Gurgled the two of them were gurgerling like no one has ever gurgled before! Hendrix gurgled, Matt gurgled back and his stomach rumbled and he farted. Hendrix's ears went back, he took Matt's flatulance as an offence. Matt realised that he shouldn't have done that, he watched Hendrix leap into the atmoshpere (air) and do a supermassive black fart. Matt was lying there clouded by smelly black fog. He toppled off the couch and lay there thinking what Dom could have possibly fed him. Matt wouldn't give up, he gurgled quietly. Hendrix eyes snapped open and turned red and then he gurgled violently and started foaming at the mouth and he had a seizure and then was back to normal. Matt starred in horror and causiously climed back ontop of the couch.

*MEANWHILE*

There was a party in the kitchen Dominic Howard and Christopher Wolstonholm and Queen Elizibeth III and Doctor Who and Bill Gates and Brad Pitt and FuiFui MoiMoi and Elmo and Mulder and Scully and Special Agent. Anothony DiNozzo and Leroy Jethro Gibbs and Ziva David and Abby Sciuoto and Mike Franks and McGee and Kate Todd and Bugs Bunny and Taylor Swift and Harry Potter and Voldemort and Santa Claus and The Mad Hatter and Robert Pattison and Kevin Rudd and Brittany Spears were all in the kitchen, the only thing seperating the kitchen and the lounge room was a wall EVERYONE there could hear gurgling and farting coming from the lounge room.

"Well I say what, ghastly creature have you got in there !" everyone looked at the Queen (as you would expect because she uses posh language) but Elmo said it.  
>Chris broke the silence with a wait..sorry...I ment to write - Chris broke the silence with a joke about a muffin:<p>

Chris: "Two muffins were sitting in an oven, the first one said "Jeeze its hot in here!" '  
>and the other one said "Aghhh! A talking muffin!"<p>

Everyone started laughing, lemonade came out of Thom Yorke's nose he was cackling really loudly, suddenly it all went quiet everyone was starring at him and frowning.

"HEY NO ONE INVITED YOU!" Yelled Elmo across the room.  
>"Well I'm here now, so let's par-tay!" said Yorke.<br>Elmo slammed his hand on the kitchen bench and since Sesame Street did not let Elmo carry any weapons,  
>he grabbed Thom Yorke and started shoving Jigsaw-Puzzle pieces down his throat.<br>Then The Mad Hatter came over and put his Hat over Yorke's head and sufficated him.  
>Nemo called the police, Elmo ran out the door, The Mad Hatter grabbed Alice by the hand and followed Elmo,<br>then quickly came back in and retrieved his Hat and crawled out the window. Just then everyone diverted their attention to DiNozzo, DiNozzo was standing at the door and said "YEEHARR" and ran away into the sunset with MUSE's pancake mix. With no pancakes how will they survive! Everyone left and chased after DiNozzo,  
>except for Dom and Chris who had no idea what just happend... <p>


	2. Dom's Dog from Hell

It was like late afternoon by now and Matt and Hendrix were still gurgling at each other Matt gurgled even louder and his stomach rumbled. Hendrix rolled over and trotted over to him, he got on his hind legs and Gurgled in Matt's face. Matt kicked the dog and it flew across the room and went inside the wall which made quite a large hole. Hendix slowly rose to his feet and gurgled. Matt knew this wasn't over, he jumped up and raced over to the hole in the wall he pushed a cupboard in front of it covering the hole so that Hendrix was was trapped. You could just faintly make out Hendrix gurgle, but you could hardly notice it. "Peace at last!" Matt exclaimed and skipped over to the couch.

Matt put the blanket that was folded neatly on the edge of the couch, over him. He lay on his stomach with his arms and legs sprawled out all over the place, Matt was drifting off he was thinking about birds, and flowers and ponies and horses and chickens are electrical appliances that are not to be left out around young children. ...He was asleep...

Just then the door opend and Dom rushed in and pushed Matt off the couch and they both fell to the floor. Matt was really angry and was just about to break Dom's fingers when Dom grabbed Matt by the collar of his shirt and screamed:  
>"MAAAATTTT WHERE'S HENDRIX! IT'S ALMOST 6 o'clock AND HE HASN'T COME HOME FOR DINNER!"<br>"..Uhhh..." Matt began "..Well,..umm...about that.." Matt said as he sat up, he rubbed the back of his neck.  
>"Go on" Dom said looking up at Matt, Matt looked at his friend, he really didn't want to tell him that he may or may not have killed his dog.<br>It would ruin their sighed deeply and looked Dom in the eyes "

"Dom, I didn't want to tell you this, but Hendrix has...has...-" Matt stutterd "-has what?" Dom asked worriedly "Hendrix has ran away" Matt answerd "WHHAAAAATTTT!" screetched Dom.  
>"He said that it's you not him, well him too but more you" Matt said.<p>

Dom lowerd his gaze and stared at the floor "Oh.." he said atlast. Matt watched his eyes flicker with disapiontment,  
>"But" Matt said quickly "He said that you were the best owner he could ever hope for, he loved you, and then..then he left"<br>"Oh,Matt!" said Dom and threw his arms around him."Whhy did he have to leave meee for!" Dom sobbed into Matt's shoulder.

Matt scrunched up his nose, Dom cried and stained his shirt with tears, Matt rolled his eyes and patted Dom's back. He could see that his friend just needed some cheering up. Instantly Matt forgot all about that he was tired when and Idea came to his mind.  
>His Feminine side had spoken to him "Ice-Cream" he thought.<br>"It's Okay" Matt said softly "Come with me" He said, Matt stood up and extended a hand to Dom,  
>Dom grabbed his hand and Matt helped him up and lead him into the kitchen where Chris was still standing in the same place as he was when the party had started. Matt ignored him and kept walking he made Dom sit down on the kitchen chair and walked over to the freezer. He was about to open it when there was a knock on the door.<br>*KNOCK KNOCK*  
>"CHRIS GO GET THE DOOR!" boomed Matt as he ran out of the Kitchen and into his bedroom and shut the door.<br>He leaned on the door and shut his eyes "Oh, no" he thought. "What if someone at the party saw me trap Hendrix in the wall!"

Chris stood their for a moment (he had to process the instruction that Matt had gave him) he wanderd over to the door and opened it.  
>"Hello" said the man at the door "Are you Christopher Wolstonholm?" he asked curiously "No" replied Christopher Wolstonholm.<br>"Well, are you interested in Genetically Engeneering Puppies?" said the man.  
>"No" Chris said flatly "..to live Forever" the man added "Oh well in that case...No" said Chris "GREAT!" said the man "Just sign here and here and here and here and here and here and here and here and here and here here and here and here and here and here and here and here and here and here and herehere and here and here and here and here and here and here and here and here and here and...<br>*2.4 million more: "and here's" later*

"aaand here" said the man pointing to the clipboard with a pen.  
>"..." said Chris The man starred at him intently "No" said Chris "Is that all you can say?" said the man "No" said Chris and took the pen from the Man's sweaty little hands and signed:<p>

-GENETICALLY ENGENEERING PUPPIES-

All persons who sign this form are welcome to engineer a puppy(ies)  
>as long as the puppies are from earth and are legally owned and are microchiped and do not have the name "Moustachio Furioso".<p>

All puppies that are legally owned must not be fed or watered or the risks of you or your puppy having a heart-attack a stroke and other related incidents are very high.

Signed: CRIVOL7Q TONY WOLSTONHOLM -

"No" Chris said shoving the clipboard and pen back into the man's hands.  
>"..erm..is Crivol7x how you spell your first name?" said the man to Chris "No" said Chris "It's spelt c,r,i,v,o,l, the number 7 and the letter Q!" yelled Chris and slamed the door on his face!<p>

"Chris?" said Dom looking up at him from the chair with tears streaming down his face, "No" said Chris and walked to where he had been standing for the last 7 hours.  
>Dom watched Chris and then diverted his attention to Matt who had just emerged from wherever he was hiding.<br>"Matt" said Dom, "Where did you go?" He asked, his eyes full of tears.  
>Matt was thinking that he should just tell Dom that he kicked his dog into the wall and made a huge hole and pushed a cupboard infront of it.<br>Matt knelt down and looked Dom in the eyes. "Dom" he began "..I..I..I..acidentaly kicked your dog and it flew across the room and slammed into the wall and made a massive hole and then I accidentaly moved a cupboard infront of the hole and Hendrix is trapped..." His voice trailed was speechless, he took a long time to answer. Matt watched Dom's expression change to confusion and then to a crooked smile.  
>"Oh, Matt" said Dom "You don't have to blame yourself because Hendrix ran away" Dom hugged Matt.<br>"But,..but" Matt protested "I'm telling the truth,I lied...about him running away" he whimpered.  
>"It's not your fault, don't be silly" Dom said, tears welling up in his eyes. "Im sure Hendrix is happy wherever he is"<br>Matt decided to go along with what Dom said "Yeah, your right...Im sure he is" smiled Matt as he hugged Dom back.  
>"Let's go watch some TV" whisperd Matt. <p>


	3. Matt VS Queen

Matt and Dom went into the lounge room followed by Chris siliently. Dom and Chris sat on the couch and Matt went into the kitchen again "Do you guys want some ice-cream?" he called out to them with his hand in the freezer.  
>"Yes" replied Dom "No" (which actually ment yes) replied Chris There was a knock on the door.<br>"KNOCK KNOCK"  
>"CHRIS GET THE DOOR" yelled Matt.<p>Chris got up and walked over to the door, he opend it.<br>"Hello Chris" said Queen Elizabeth the III "Hey Liz" smiled Chris.  
>"Can I come in?" she asked "Sure" said Chris as he stepped aside and let the Queen through. She pushed past Matt who was still standing there with his hand in the freezer.<br>"What on earth are you doing Matthew?" she said raising a royal eyebrow.  
>"None of your royal bisnuss" Matt mumbled.<br>"Hmf" said Elizabeth and circled the table twice and then sat at the kitchen table with her arms folded.

Matthew Bellamy and Queen Elizabeth III were always fighting. Back in the olden days when they were attending high school together. On June 1st on a Monday to be exact (Matt's Birthday) also the day of the science fair, Matt was walking to the front of the room carrying his project, when Elizabeth tripped him, Matt fell over and his project crashed to the floor. Luckily Matt had a feeling that she'd do that so he took extra precaution and wrapped a thick layer of bubble-wrap around it. He got up and picked up his project and continued his way to the front of the room where everyone presented to the class their science project.  
>Elizibeth was furious! She raced infront of him and sprayed pepper spray in his eyes. Luckily Matt wore glasses that day so he'd atleast look smart. He steadied the project on his knee and wiped the pepper spray of his glasses and continued wallking up to the front of the class room. (Jeeze! How long is this room!) Matt reached the front of the classroom (finally!) and placed his project on the surface of the table and carefully removed the bubble-wrap, He was demonstrating how everything worked and had turned his back when Elizabeth pulled out a gun and shot him.<br>(and..that's why Queen Elizibeth III and Matthew Bellamy aren't friends!)  
>*Anyway back to da story*<p>

"So what's going on?" She asked.  
>"Well, Matt was just about to make some ice-cream" Chris said.<br>"Oh really?" she said turing around to look at Matt. Then threw her head back and started laughing histerically.  
>"HA HA HAAAA" laughed the Queen.<br>"What?" said Matt "Did I miss something?"  
>"Uh...Matt" said Chris "What?" Matt said in an English accent "Your hand!" said Chris.<br>Matt looked at his hand that was still in the was completely white and you could see dark blue vains running through his fingers and the plam of his hand. His nails were a dark shade of purple and his whole arm felt heavy.

"AGHHHHHHH" Matt squealed girlishly Dom raced into the kitchen. "What happend!" he asked worriedly.  
>Matt took his hand out of the freezer and faced Dom.<br>Dom looked at Matt's hand.  
>"Awww...somebody's got frostbite!" cooed Dom with puppy dog eyes.<br>"I Do Not Have Fwostbite!" Matt retorted.  
>"Ha ha ha...you can't say frostbite!" mocked Dom "Shut up!" Matt said "Aww say it again..that was So cute!" said Dom "SHUT UP!" yelled Matt "No say frostbite agian!" said Dom "NO" said Matt "..and I don't have fwostbite!"<br>"hehehe" giggled Dom "again, again!" said Dom.

Matt narrowed his eyes at Dom and said "how would YOU like it Dominic if you were fwostbitten!"  
>Dom laughed at him and retreated back into the loungeroom followed by Chris and the Queen.<br>Matt had no idea what just happend. He walked into the loungeroom and stood infront of the TV with his hands on his hips.  
>"And just what do you think your doing!" he said and batted his eyelids.<br>It was obvious who he was talking to. The Queen had taken HIS spot on HIS couch and was sitting next to HIS Dom and HIS Chris and watching HIS favourite TV show (The X-Files).  
>Matt starred down at the Queen.<br>"Where's my ice-cream?" said the Queen.  
>Chris got up and went into the kitchen and blocked his ears, he knew were this was going.<br>"FORGET THE ICE-CREAM WOMAN!" Yelled Matt so loudly that a volcano uruppted in Hawii "Oi!" Dom yelled "Matt calm down and Elizabeth, stop egging him on!" said Dom angrily "Fine" Matt said, He walked up to the Queen and stood infront of her.  
>"GET OFF OF MY CHAIR!" he yelled right in her face.<br>Queen Elizabeth III simply blinked at him.  
>"Right then! I had enough of this!" he yelled as he pushed THE QUEEN OF ENGLAND of the couch and sat next to Dom and smiled down at the Queen.<p>

Chris came in with 4 bowls of hot butterd popcorn.  
>He gave one to Dom, one to Matt and one to the Queen who was glaring at Matt.<br>Chris sat down and shoved a handfull of popcorn in his mouth.  
>"Oi, you can sit over there" said Matt to Elizabeth as he pointed to Hendrix's empty dog bed.<br>Dom looked at Hendrix's old bed, a tear ran down his cheek, followed by another. Dom started crying (again). Tears streamed down his face and landed in his bowl of popcorn.  
>Matt pat his back. "Its okay mate" he said reasuringly. Matt felt guity "Let's just watch the TV, okay?" said Matt "okay" said Dom quietly.<br>They all sat and ate their poprcorn in silence.  
>Matt stuffed popcorn into his mouth and chewed like a cow. He reached into his bowl to grab another handfull when his index finger snapped off (due to fwostbite). But since Matt's arm was completely numb he didn't feel it. Instead he picked up his finger with his other hand and looked at it, then he looked at the Queen and an evil grin appeared on his face.<br>He threw his fwostbitten finger at her and it landed in her bowl of popcorn, but she didn't notice.  
>Matt giggled and continued watching the TV.<p>

MUSE...and Queen Elizabeth III continued to watch The X-Files without any yelling & screaming and crying and arguing and MADNESS for all of 4 minutes when the TV flashed with the words:

"SPECIAL NEWS BREAK" and a TV reporter announced:  
>"We appolsogise for interupting this program bringing you a special news update, we have news that a Volcano in Hawii has just urrupted killing 500 people, scientists don't know what caused this disaster, but reasearch is still being continued"<p>

The X-Files returned and Chris, Dom and the Queen all starred at Matt.  
>"Whoops.." he said and kept watching the TV like nothing had happend. Everyone was still staring at him.<br>"Stop it" he said. But they didn't.  
>"Want me to cause a Hurricane too?" he asked with his eyebrows raised.<br>They all turned their heads back and continued eating, when something caught Chris's eye.  
>"Hey!" Chris snapped at the Queen "Hold it!" She stopped and opend her eyes to see that she was about to shove a fwostbitten finger into her mouth.<p>

"AAAAAHHHHHH" screamed Queen Elizabeth and dropped the finger on the floor and jerked back.  
>"Ha Ha" laughed Matt "You should've let her eat it" he said to Chris.<br>Matt got up an casualy walked over to his finger and picked it up.  
>"Im going to go and wah this" he said walking into the bathroom "God knows how many germs are on Elizabeths hand" he said.<br>Elizibeth III took of her shoe and threw it at him. Matt dodged the incoming army boot heading straight for his head.  
>(yes she wears army boots) and laughed.<p>

Matt walked into the bathroom and closed the door behind him.  
>"Now, weres the soap?" he said to himself and opend the medicine-cabbnit. He poked his head in and looked inside.<br>"There you are" he said to the soap and began scrubbing his decapitated finger.  
>He rinsed the soap off with water and took a roll of sticky-tape out of the cabnit and sticky-taped his finger back together.<br>"Ah,That's better" he said. "I have to pee" he said he turned around and walked to the toilet "No toilet paper" he said annoyed.  
>Matt opend the cupboard door under the sink and jumped back with a fright.<br>A body fell out of the cupborad and onto the floor.  
>Matt tried to remain calm. He didn't know what to do. He just starred at it.<br>"I wonder who it is" he thought. Matt being as curious as he was gently rolled the body over on it's back.  
>"Oh My Absolution!" Matt said exitedly "This has got to be the most happiest day of my life!" he said and dashed out of the bathroom.<p>

"Hey you guys" he said almost too happily "You'll never guess what I found in the bathroom!" "Your brain?" said the Queen mockingly.  
>"No, dont be silly." Matt paused "That's in the back of the tour bus" Matt said proudly.<br>"Anyway" he continued "Thom Yorke's body is in our bathroom!" Matt said even more proudly.  
>Dom and Chris didn't care and the Queen couldn't care less.<br>"He's Dead!" Matt said obviously.  
>"We know" said Dom.<br>"Elmo killed him" said Chris "The Mad Hatter helped" added the Queen it was awhile before Matt said anything. He opend his mouth to speak but he didn't know what to say. After all how could you respond to that? But he did.  
>"How did they kill him?" he asked.<br>"Elmo shoved Jigsaw-puzzel peices down his throat" Dom answerd.  
>"Where'd he get them from?" Matt said.<br>Chris and Dom both looked at eachother for a moment.  
>Dom got up of the couch and walked over to Matt and took his hand in his. "Im sorry Matt" Dom looked at his feet "We think he used your 1000 piece Unicorn and Fairy Princess one"<br>Matt's eyes brimed with tears "No, your wrong I'll...I'll prove it" he said and grabbed Dom and Chris by the wrist and motioned for Elizabeth to follow him. He lead them into his room and he opend his wardrobe and looked through all his clothes.

He was sure that when he un-packed that he put his 1000 piece Unicorn and Fairy Princess Puzzle for Ages 2+ under his Bratz Rock Angelz shirt. He searched his entire wardrobe and flung all his shirts "accidentaly" at the Queen.  
>"Matt" Chris said. "I found this in Yorke's mouth" Matt spun around and took the coloured bit of carboard from his hand.<br>"Princess Sarafeena's shoe!" gasped Matt. He fell to the floor and starred at the Jigsaw peice.  
>"Aren't we a little baby" hissed Queen Elizabeth.<br>Matt's eyes shifted to her. Anger burned inside him.  
>"GET OUT" He screamed, he pushed Elizabeth and hurt her arm and threw her out-side his room and shoved Dom and Chris out too and slammed the door shut so hard that it splinterd.<p>

*4 and a half hours later*

Matt came out after sulking in his bedroom for hours it was now 11:00 PM almost midnight. Matt got up from the corner he was crying in and made he way out into the loungeroom. The Queen had gone home "Yes!" thought Matt, Dom and Chris were sitting on the couch, slowley falling asleep.  
>The X-Files had finished and NCIS was on, it was the one were Gibbs has a moustach (his moustach is called Herasio).<br>Matt giggled like he did at the start of the Hullabaloo DVD disc 2 in the extra footage clips at Gibbs facial hair.  
>This frightend a very tired little Dominic Howard and very big Christopher Wolstonholm.<p>

Matt felt bad for throwing them out of his room.  
>"Uh,..Hey" he said and slowley walked over to them. "Sowwy about what happend earlier. I just -<br>Dom intterupted him "We know Matt, it's okay, we understand." Chris and Dom smiled sweetly at him.  
>Matt pouted. "Awww..I love you guys" he said as he hugged them both.<br>Chris rolled his eyes and Dom did the same.  
>"You guys are my best fwends" He said with a twinkle in his eye.<br>"We know Matt" Chris said.  
>"Say Proper" said Dom to Matt "Hmm...well...okay then" smiled Matt "YAY" Dom and Chris laughed.<br>Matt got off them and stood in the middle of the room and cleard his through.  
>"Pwoper". He said.<br>"Take a Bow" said Dom "Burn in hell, yeah you'll burn in hell-  
>Dom intterupted again "No, not the song Take a Bow I don't want you to sing,I want to you take a bow, literally"<br>"Oh...Okay" Matt nodded and took a bow and then grinned, he noticed Chris wasn't paying any attention.  
>He jumped over to Chris and grabbed his hand and pulled him closer and whisperd "I've traveld half the world to say...<br>"I BELONG TO YOU" Matt and Dom sang together.  
>Chris let go of Matt's hand and slapped him across the face, and he fell over. "Reeejected" said Dom and then put his hands up in defence as Matt got up of the floor and sat back on the couch.<br>Matt changed his mind and sat on Dom's lap and stretched his feet out over Chris.  
>"Sing for Absoluuuuuuuuuuuuuution, I will be singing" sung Matt.<br>"And Falling from your Grace-ace" they all sang.  
>Then they sang Megalomania and then Micro Cuts then they had a pillow fight over singing Agitated or Fillip (Fillip won!)<br>*250 songs later*

"Ugh...Night guys" Matt said getting up. "Im going to bed" he said as he made his way to his bedroom.  
>"Im going to bed too" said Dom standing up and rubbing his eyes "Goonight Matt, Goodnight Chris" said Dom walking to his bedroom "Night" said Chris to Matt and Dom. Chris yawned and got up and went to his bedroom.<p>

MUSE were all fast asleep when... 


	4. Fwostbite & Dead Stars

Matt and Dom went into the lounge room followed by Chris siliently. Dom and Chris sat on the couch and Matt went into the kitchen again "Do you guys want some ice-cream?" he called out to them with his hand in the freezer.  
>"Yes" replied Dom "No" (which actually ment yes) replied Chris There was a knock on the door.<br>"KNOCK KNOCK"  
>"CHRIS GET THE DOOR" yelled Matt.<p>Chris got up and walked over to the door, he opend it.<br>"Hello Chris" said Queen Elizabeth the III "Hey Liz" smiled Chris.  
>"Can I come in?" she asked "Sure" said Chris as he stepped aside and let the Queen through. She pushed past Matt who was still standing there with his hand in the freezer.<br>"What on earth are you doing Matthew?" she said raising a royal eyebrow.  
>"None of your royal bisnuss" Matt mumbled.<br>"Hmf" said Elizabeth and circled the table twice and then sat at the kitchen table with her arms folded.

Matthew Bellamy and Queen Elizabeth III were always fighting. Back in the olden days when they were attending high school together. On June 1st on a Monday to be exact (Matt's Birthday) also the day of the science fair, Matt was walking to the front of the room carrying his project, when Elizabeth tripped him, Matt fell over and his project crashed to the floor. Luckily Matt had a feeling that she'd do that so he took extra precaution and wrapped a thick layer of bubble-wrap around it. He got up and picked up his project and continued his way to the front of the room where everyone presented to the class their science project.  
>Elizibeth was furious! She raced infront of him and sprayed pepper spray in his eyes. Luckily Matt wore glasses that day so he'd atleast look smart. He steadied the project on his knee and wiped the pepper spray of his glasses and continued wallking up to the front of the class room. (Jeeze! How long is this room!) Matt reached the front of the classroom (finally!) and placed his project on the surface of the table and carefully removed the bubble-wrap, He was demonstrating how everything worked and had turned his back when Elizabeth pulled out a gun and shot him.<br>(and..that's why Queen Elizibeth III and Matthew Bellamy aren't friends!)  
>*Anyway back to da story*<p>

"So what's going on?" She asked.  
>"Well, Matt was just about to make some ice-cream" Chris said.<br>"Oh really?" she said turing around to look at Matt. Then threw her head back and started laughing histerically.  
>"HA HA HAAAA" laughed the Queen.<br>"What?" said Matt "Did I miss something?"  
>"Uh...Matt" said Chris "What?" Matt said in an English accent "Your hand!" said Chris.<br>Matt looked at his hand that was still in the was completely white and you could see dark blue vains running through his fingers and the plam of his hand. His nails were a dark shade of purple and his whole arm felt heavy.

"AGHHHHHHH" Matt squealed girlishly Dom raced into the kitchen. "What happend!" he asked worriedly.  
>Matt took his hand out of the freezer and faced Dom.<br>Dom looked at Matt's hand.  
>"Awww...somebody's got frostbite!" cooed Dom with puppy dog eyes.<br>"I Do Not Have Fwostbite!" Matt retorted.  
>"Ha ha ha...you can't say frostbite!" mocked Dom "Shut up!" Matt said "Aww say it again..that was So cute!" said Dom "SHUT UP!" yelled Matt "No say frostbite agian!" said Dom "NO" said Matt "..and I don't have fwostbite!"<br>"hehehe" giggled Dom "again, again!" said Dom.

Matt narrowed his eyes at Dom and said "how would YOU like it Dominic if you were fwostbitten!"  
>Dom laughed at him and retreated back into the loungeroom followed by Chris and the Queen.<br>Matt had no idea what just happend. He walked into the loungeroom and stood infront of the TV with his hands on his hips.  
>"And just what do you think your doing!" he said and batted his eyelids.<br>It was obvious who he was talking to. The Queen had taken HIS spot on HIS couch and was sitting next to HIS Dom and HIS Chris and watching HIS favourite TV show (The X-Files).  
>Matt starred down at the Queen.<br>"Where's my ice-cream?" said the Queen.  
>Chris got up and went into the kitchen and blocked his ears, he knew were this was going.<br>"FORGET THE ICE-CREAM WOMAN!" Yelled Matt so loudly that a volcano uruppted in Hawii "Oi!" Dom yelled "Matt calm down and Elizabeth, stop egging him on!" said Dom angrily "Fine" Matt said, He walked up to the Queen and stood infront of her.  
>"GET OFF OF MY CHAIR!" he yelled right in her face.<br>Queen Elizabeth III simply blinked at him.  
>"Right then! I had enough of this!" he yelled as he pushed THE QUEEN OF ENGLAND of the couch and sat next to Dom and smiled down at the Queen.<p>

Chris came in with 4 bowls of hot butterd popcorn.  
>He gave one to Dom, one to Matt and one to the Queen who was glaring at Matt.<br>Chris sat down and shoved a handfull of popcorn in his mouth.  
>"Oi, you can sit over there" said Matt to Elizabeth as he pointed to Hendrix's empty dog bed.<br>Dom looked at Hendrix's old bed, a tear ran down his cheek, followed by another. Dom started crying (again). Tears streamed down his face and landed in his bowl of popcorn.  
>Matt pat his back. "Its okay mate" he said reasuringly. Matt felt guity "Let's just watch the TV, okay?" said Matt "okay" said Dom quietly.<br>They all sat and ate their poprcorn in silence.  
>Matt stuffed popcorn into his mouth and chewed like a cow. He reached into his bowl to grab another handfull when his index finger snapped off (due to fwostbite). But since Matt's arm was completely numb he didn't feel it. Instead he picked up his finger with his other hand and looked at it, then he looked at the Queen and an evil grin appeared on his face.<br>He threw his fwostbitten finger at her and it landed in her bowl of popcorn, but she didn't notice.  
>Matt giggled and continued watching the TV.<p>

MUSE...and Queen Elizabeth III continued to watch The X-Files without any yelling & screaming and crying and arguing and MADNESS for all of 4 minutes when the TV flashed with the words:

"SPECIAL NEWS BREAK" and a TV reporter announced:  
>"We appolsogise for interupting this program bringing you a special news update, we have news that a Volcano in Hawii has just urrupted killing 500 people, scientists don't know what caused this disaster, but reasearch is still being continued"<p>

The X-Files returned and Chris, Dom and the Queen all starred at Matt.  
>"Whoops.." he said and kept watching the TV like nothing had happend. Everyone was still staring at him.<br>"Stop it" he said. But they didn't.  
>"Want me to cause a Hurricane too?" he asked with his eyebrows raised.<br>They all turned their heads back and continued eating, when something caught Chris's eye.  
>"Hey!" Chris snapped at the Queen "Hold it!" She stopped and opend her eyes to see that she was about to shove a fwostbitten finger into her mouth.<p>

"AAAAAHHHHHH" screamed Queen Elizabeth and dropped the finger on the floor and jerked back.  
>"Ha Ha" laughed Matt "You should've let her eat it" he said to Chris.<br>Matt got up an casualy walked over to his finger and picked it up.  
>"Im going to go and wah this" he said walking into the bathroom "God knows how many germs are on Elizabeths hand" he said.<br>Elizibeth III took of her shoe and threw it at him. Matt dodged the incoming army boot heading straight for his head.  
>(yes she wears army boots) and laughed.<p>

Matt walked into the bathroom and closed the door behind him.  
>"Now, weres the soap?" he said to himself and opend the medicine-cabbnit. He poked his head in and looked inside.<br>"There you are" he said to the soap and began scrubbing his decapitated finger.  
>He rinsed the soap off with water and took a roll of sticky-tape out of the cabnit and sticky-taped his finger back together.<br>"Ah,That's better" he said. "I have to pee" he said he turned around and walked to the toilet "No toilet paper" he said annoyed.  
>Matt opend the cupboard door under the sink and jumped back with a fright.<br>A body fell out of the cupborad and onto the floor.  
>Matt tried to remain calm. He didn't know what to do. He just starred at it.<br>"I wonder who it is" he thought. Matt being as curious as he was gently rolled the body over on it's back.  
>"Oh My Absolution!" Matt said exitedly "This has got to be the most happiest day of my life!" he said and dashed out of the bathroom.<p>

"Hey you guys" he said almost too happily "You'll never guess what I found in the bathroom!" "Your brain?" said the Queen mockingly.  
>"No, dont be silly." Matt paused "That's in the back of the tour bus" Matt said proudly.<br>"Anyway" he continued "Thom Yorke's body is in our bathroom!" Matt said even more proudly.  
>Dom and Chris didn't care and the Queen couldn't care less.<br>"He's Dead!" Matt said obviously.  
>"We know" said Dom.<br>"Elmo killed him" said Chris "The Mad Hatter helped" added the Queen it was awhile before Matt said anything. He opend his mouth to speak but he didn't know what to say. After all how could you respond to that? But he did.  
>"How did they kill him?" he asked.<br>"Elmo shoved Jigsaw-puzzel peices down his throat" Dom answerd.  
>"Where'd he get them from?" Matt said.<br>Chris and Dom both looked at eachother for a moment.  
>Dom got up of the couch and walked over to Matt and took his hand in his. "Im sorry Matt" Dom looked at his feet "We think he used your 1000 piece Unicorn and Fairy Princess one"<br>Matt's eyes brimed with tears "No, your wrong I'll...I'll prove it" he said and grabbed Dom and Chris by the wrist and motioned for Elizabeth to follow him. He lead them into his room and he opend his wardrobe and looked through all his clothes.

He was sure that when he un-packed that he put his 1000 piece Unicorn and Fairy Princess Puzzle for Ages 2+ under his Bratz Rock Angelz shirt. He searched his entire wardrobe and flung all his shirts "accidentaly" at the Queen.  
>"Matt" Chris said. "I found this in Yorke's mouth" Matt spun around and took the coloured bit of carboard from his hand.<br>"Princess Sarafeena's shoe!" gasped Matt. He fell to the floor and starred at the Jigsaw peice.  
>"Aren't we a little baby" hissed Queen Elizabeth.<br>Matt's eyes shifted to her. Anger burned inside him.  
>"GET OUT" He screamed, he pushed Elizabeth and hurt her arm and threw her out-side his room and shoved Dom and Chris out too and slammed the door shut so hard that it splinterd.<p>

*4 and a half hours later*

Matt came out after sulking in his bedroom for hours it was now 11:00 PM almost midnight. Matt got up from the corner he was crying in and made he way out into the loungeroom. The Queen had gone home "Yes!" thought Matt, Dom and Chris were sitting on the couch, slowley falling asleep.  
>The X-Files had finished and NCIS was on, it was the one were Gibbs has a moustach (his moustach is called Herasio).<br>Matt giggled like he did at the start of the Hullabaloo DVD disc 2 in the extra footage clips at Gibbs facial hair.  
>This frightend a very tired little Dominic Howard and very big Christopher Wolstonholm.<p>

Matt felt bad for throwing them out of his room.  
>"Uh,..Hey" he said and slowley walked over to them. "Sowwy about what happend earlier. I just -<br>Dom intterupted him "We know Matt, it's okay, we understand." Chris and Dom smiled sweetly at him.  
>Matt pouted. "Awww..I love you guys" he said as he hugged them both.<br>Chris rolled his eyes and Dom did the same.  
>"You guys are my best fwends" He said with a twinkle in his eye.<br>"We know Matt" Chris said.  
>"Say Proper" said Dom to Matt "Hmm...well...okay then" smiled Matt "YAY" Dom and Chris laughed.<br>Matt got off them and stood in the middle of the room and cleard his through.  
>"Pwoper". He said.<br>"Take a Bow" said Dom "Burn in hell, yeah you'll burn in hell-  
>Dom intterupted again "No, not the song Take a Bow I don't want you to sing,I want to you take a bow, literally"<br>"Oh...Okay" Matt nodded and took a bow and then grinned, he noticed Chris wasn't paying any attention.  
>He jumped over to Chris and grabbed his hand and pulled him closer and whisperd "I've traveld half the world to say...<br>"I BELONG TO YOU" Matt and Dom sang together.  
>Chris let go of Matt's hand and slapped him across the face, and he fell over. "Reeejected" said Dom and then put his hands up in defence as Matt got up of the floor and sat back on the couch.<br>Matt changed his mind and sat on Dom's lap and stretched his feet out over Chris.  
>"Sing for Absoluuuuuuuuuuuuuution, I will be singing" sung Matt.<br>"And Falling from your Grace-ace" they all sang.  
>Then they sang Megalomania and then Micro Cuts then they had a pillow fight over singing Agitated or Fillip (Fillip won!)<br>*250 songs later*

"Ugh...Night guys" Matt said getting up. "Im going to bed" he said as he made his way to his bedroom.  
>"Im going to bed too" said Dom standing up and rubbing his eyes "Goonight Matt, Goodnight Chris" said Dom walking to his bedroom "Night" said Chris to Matt and Dom. Chris yawned and got up and went to his bedroom.<p>

MUSE were all fast asleep when... 


	5. Omghe just said Pwoper

Matthew Bellamy was stiring in his sleep. He was probably dreaming of powerfull axes hanging from the sky ready to kill him.  
>*gurgle* Matt's eyes snapped open when he heard a gurgling sound coming from somewhere in the room. *gurgle* There it was again! *gurgle* Matt was afraid and gassy, he slowley sat up in his bed and farted nervously then pushed back the covers and swung his legs over the side of the bed. He leant over to his bedside table and turned on the lamp but the light was dead.<br>"No!" he whisperd to himself. He reached down and opened his bed-side draw and then farted sniffed the air.  
>"woo that was a good one" he said to himself. He felt around for his flashlight and took it from his draw. He flicked it on and shone it around the room.<br>"Is anyone there?" he asked in a high pitched voice. *gurgle* "who..who..who's there?" he said, the torch shaking in his hand.

*gurgle* *gurgle* the sound was getting closer. It was as almost if the sound was coming from in the wall.  
>*GURGLE* it was right behind Matt. "AGH!" Matt jumped and whipped around and shone the torch on the wall *GURGLE*<br>Matt squealed! *GURGLE* "Stop that!" Matt yelled at the wall. The sound seemed to stop for a moment.  
>"H...Hello" Matt's voice trembled, He tapped gently on the wall. *GURGLE GURGLE GURGLE!* "" Matt screamed and raced all the way out of his room and into Dom's and jumped into his bed. "DOM!" he screamed in Dom's ear. Dom sat up quickly and was startled and then he faced Matt and frowned.<br>"There's something in my bedroom" whisperd Matt. Chris came into Dom's bedroom too and flicked on the light. "What's going on here!" he said anoyed.  
>"CHRIS!" Matt boomed and fell out of Dom's bed and sped over to Chris and jumped into his arms. "THERE'S SOMETHING IN MY BEDROOM!" He yelled at Chris's face.<br>Chris went blank for a moment "CHRIS!" yelled Matt "THERE'S SOMETHING IN M-  
>"I KNOW MATT I HERAD YOU THE FIRST THOUSAND TIMES" Yelled Chris right back at him.<br>Chris dropped Matt and he landed on his but on the ground with a thud. "OW MY GLUTIMUSMAXIMUS!" he yelled.  
>"Matt lower your voice!" Demanded Chris.<br>"Guys you've gotta believe me!" Matt pouted. "Loook" he said and got of the ground and grabbed Chris's hand and Dom's and dragged him out of bed. Matt held Dom and Chris's hands down the hall way.  
>"Matt...we'll have a look just LET GO OF OUR HANDS!" yelled Dom.<br>"NO!" screamed Matt childishly and tightend his grip on their hands. He kicked his door open like they do in the movies and his door fell to the floor.  
>He stepped over the door and let go of his companions hands. Dom and Chris just looked at eachother in disbelief and put the doorback on it's hinges and trailed after him.<br>Matt stood on his bed. "NOW SHUT UP EVERYONE AND WITNESS THE NOISE" He screeched and jumped back down on the floor.  
>"What?" said Chris confused.<br>Matt snarled "I said..." he stood back up on his bed. "SHUT UP EVERYONE AND WITN-  
>"ALRIGHT ALREADY GIVE IT A REST WILL YA!" screamed Dom so loudly that a portal opend in Matt's closet "Look Matt, we don't hear anything okay, it's late and were going back to bed. If your still worreid about it in the morning we'll have a look okay" said Chris sleepily.<br>Before Matt could reply, both Dom and Chris had walked out of his room and got back into their beds and locked the doors.  
>Matt screamed aloud to himself.<br>He lost his temper and kicked his cupboard.  
>The door swung open and a random hippy surfer dude poked his head out of the magical portal that Dom open in his closet "wow..That's deep man" said the random hippy sufer dude.<br>At this Matt fainted and passed out on the floor.

*THE NEXT MORNING*

Matt smiled slightly as a warm ray of sun shone on his face. He rolled over to the other side of the bed and rested his head on a shoulder while his head was being lay there peacefully 'perfect' he thought. 'hang on a sec...' he thought 'I don't remeber having a girlfriend!'  
>His eyes snapped open. He saw a man with a pink band around his head with a flower wrapped around it. He had dark brown dread-locks with a white streak in one. Matt tried to speak but he didn't know what to do. Oh wait I know what:<br>"! DOOOOOOOM, CHHRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISSS!  
>!" Matt screamed so loudly that the chandelier in the dinning room smashed and fell of the roof and broke the table.<br>Dom and Chris simutainously rolled their eyes and came out of their rooms and began their way up the hallway.

They reached Matt's bedroom door and knocked.  
>"Matt, everything okay in their?" Dom said.<br>"HIPPY SUFER DUDE!" yelled Matt.  
>"This has gone on long enough" Chris said in a deadly voice.<br>He tried to open the door but it wouldn't buge.  
>"For crying out loud Matt open the door!" roared Chris "Matt we can't help you if you don't let us in, move away from the door" said Dom.<br>"I'M NOT ANYWHERE NEAR THE DOOR!" yelled Matt.  
>The Hippy Surfer Dude was evil! He blocked the door with Matt's bedside table and cornerd Matt on the other side of the room.<br>"Matt who's in their with you?" said Chris worriedly "AGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Matt screamed Chris and Dom heard Matt scream, They looked at eachother in shock.  
>Matt didn't scream like he normally did. He screamed in sheer terror.<p>

Chris being as giagantic as he was banged his fist on door which made it weaken.  
>The Hippy surfer dude spun around to the door and then moved Matt's cupboard infront of it.<br>"HEY" Chris yelled.  
>He started to push the door.<br>"Dom help me!" He cried as he tried to force the door open.  
>Dom helped him and the both of them managed to get the door open a crack.<br>They looked through the crack in the door and saw the Hippy Dude.  
>"Who's that?" Dom whisperd to Chris.<br>"I don't know" replied Chris.  
>"Where's Matt?" Dom asked.<br>"Shhhh..." said Chris.

Matt watched the Hippy Sufer Dude.  
>Matt narrowed his eyes.<br>"I know what you are.."  
>"What" snarled the Hippy "Say it!"<br>Matt stepped closer to him.  
>"a-a vampire"<br>The Random Hippy Sufer Dude/Vampire blinked "Are you afraid?" he said and looked Matt dircetly in the eyes.  
>"No" Matt said honestly.<br>The Hippy Sufer Dude Vampire thing stepped into the light that was coming through the window.  
>He began to sparkle and gliter in the sun.<br>"I am sorry to have frightend you human" he paused "I think the lack of oxegen in your closet has effected my brain"  
>said the Vampire Hippy.<br>"Now I must return to my one true love Edward Cullen"  
>He spread his arms out and launched himself at the window.<br>"" screamed Vampire Hippy in pain and crashed to the floor "ha, ha..yer...ummm uh.. I closed the window when you moved the cupboard, you'know I didn't want to uh..let in the draft,  
>It get's I bit chilly here, I would of uh..left it open but, I kinda didn't uh..think..you'd fly out the window so...uh..year sorry for the inconvenience, sorry bout that." said Matt as he walked over to open the window.<br>"Of you go now" He said indicating to the window. 


	6. Matt VS Dom

Matt called out to Dom and out to Chris but there was no answer.  
>With the Vampire Hippy retarded thing unconcious Matt dragged its lifeless body into the atic of their summer cottage and placed it on the floor in the corner.<br>WHEN THOM YORKE'S GHOST APPEARED! "Matt" said a deep voice from behind him.  
>Matt slowley looked up to see a brown eyed man with dark blonde hair and a slightly closed eye looking at him.<br>"AGHHHH!" screamed Matt like a little girl "IT'S THOM YORKE FROM THAT BAND RADIOHEAD!" screamed Matt over-dramaticaly "Yes, I am" said Thom Yorke "YOUR A GHOST" screamed Matt crazily "YES I AM NOW KNOCK OF THE ALL THAT SCREAMING YOU RETARTED LITTLE BOY" Spat Thom Yorke. "Also..." Continued Thom Yorke "I'm just here to let you know I will haunt you for the rest of your life, until the day you die! Mwahhaha" laughed Yorke.  
>"I...uh" Matt was to shocked to say anything more instead he slowley backed away towards the trap door of the attic and climbed down.<p>

"AGHHHH HELP" Matt screamed as he ran down the hallway of the luxurious cottage.  
>"Matt?" Matt heard Chris say.<br>"Chris?...Where are you?" said Matt as he turned the corner into the living room and stopped running as he was about to run into the wall.  
>"Matt" said Chris again. "There you are" Chris said as he walked over to Matt and tapped him on the shoulder.<br>"AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" Screamed Matt and leaped up on the coffee table. "Chris you scared the living daylights outta me!" Matt wailed. "What's Going on?" said Chris concerned. Before Matt could answer Dom's voice called out. "Chris? Did you find Matt yet?" Dom yelled.  
>"Yeah, He's in here" Chris replied.<br>"Where's here exactly?" Dom asked, lost somewhere in the house.  
>"We're in the living room" said Chris.<br>"Ah, Okay" said Dom, "Like I know where that is" he mumbled. Dom walked around the corner and through the archway that led him into the lounge room.  
>He stopped in the middle of the room and put his hands on his hipps. "Hmmm.." he said and looked around, his eyes scanned the room.<br>"Hey" he said and walked towards the cupboard. "This doesn't belong here" he said as he moved it from angainst the wall and back into it's place.  
>"There" he said saticified. He was about to leave when he turned back around. "Hang on a tic" he said as he eyed the wall.<br>There was a large hole in the wall, right where someone had moved the cupbaord to. He tried to remember if it was there before. Then he remembered what Matt had told him yesterday: "I kicked your dog and it flew across the room and slammed into the wall and made a massive hole and then I accidentaly moved a cupboard infront of the hole and Hendrix is trapped inside the wall"  
>"THAT B*TCH" Dom thought and stormed off and headed directly for the living room (he randomly knows where the living room is now)<br>He ran straight at Matt. "MATT YOU BLOODY LIAR" Yelled Dom straight in Matt's face.  
>"Uh...Dom?" Matt said as he was beginiing to feel intimadated.<br>"MATT YOU KILLED MY DOG!" Dom screamed!  
>"LOOK DOM I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT THIS RIGHT NOW!" Screamed Matt right back "YOU LISTEN TO ME YO-" Dom didnt finish his sentance. Matt had already gotten up and was heading towards the door.<br>"I SAID LISTEN TO ME!" Dom called after him "HEY" He yelled again. Matt was ignoring him.  
>Dom walked up behind Matt and grabbed his shoulder, Which made Matt stop almost instantly, he clenched his fists.<br>Dom could see Matt was very angry, Dom looked away at Chris and then felt Matt's fist collide with his face.  
>Dom toppled back and steadied himself on against the wall. "LEAVE ME ALONE!" Yelled Matt and then continued on his way out.<br>Chris was shocked he didnt say anything he just silently left the room and retreated back to his safe spot in the kitchen.

Matt was walking towards the door when all of a sudden Dom kicked him in the back of the legs which caused him to fall over on his back.  
>Matt screamed in anger and pain, since he landed on his car keys. Dom walked over to Matt and looked down at him.<br>Big Mistake.  
>It's a bad idea to walk near Matt Bellamy when he's pisssed off and on the foor.<br>Matt grabbed Doms ankle and dragged Dom down with him. Matt crawled ontop of Dom and began strangling him. Dom reataliated and and kicked Matt in a very sensitive part of his body below his stomach. Matt almost cried it hurt that bad.  
>But then the pain was quickly replaced in agnger as he got up and tore out of the room at a thousand miles per hour.<br>Dom wonderd what Matt was doing. As soon as the thought crossed his mind he saw a flash of red and black pass him.  
>He spun around and to see what it was. He looked over at the wall behind the mirror but nothing was there. He saw Matt's bright red hair out of the corner of his eye. FLASH, a flash of red and black past him again. It was probably Matt. Just then UNDISCLOSED DESIRES started playing.<br>"WTF" Dom said with his WTF facial expression. A single light turned on in the room, which turned into a spotlight. The Spotlight moved across the room and stopped right in the middle of it to see a stool with a man standing on it the man slowley turned around to reveal his face. It was Matt Bellamy "Ummm what's going on here?" Dom said confused and raised his eyebrow. Matt looked at Dom intently and then clapped his hands which seemed to echo right through Dom's head. With that the lights turned back on. "What?" said Dom. "I didn't know these lights were those ones that turned on when you clapped" he said puzzledly.  
>Matt smiled at Dom sweetly. Dom was slightly freaked out then something pink behind him caught his eye. He slowley turned around and he saw printed on the back wall a large pink love-heart with a picture of him and Matt standing under a archway, Matt was wearing a beatuiful white gown and was holding a bunch of roses while Dom was in a dashing tuxedo with his hair combed back...it..it ...was...a.."wedding" Dom whisperd then whiped his head around to look at Matt.<br>"Why...are these pictures here? None of this happend" said Dom horrified. "Yess it did Dommeh-Poo" said Matt jumping of the stool and hugging Dom.  
>"No Matt, it's foto-shoped!" Dom screamed and pushed him away (Yes I can't spell foto shoped or whatever it is..lol) "But Dommy it's not" Matt whimperd "No it's not! You only wear red dresses you twit!" screetched Dom *Clap* there was a clapping sound *Clap!* there it was again *Clap* followed by another and another.<br>*Clap* "I think you killed him" Dom heard Chris say.  
>*Clap, Clap* "No, I didn't hit him that hard" Dom heard Matt say. Dom was looking straight at Matt but his mouth didn't even seem to open.<br>"CLAP, CLAP, CLAP!* "DOM WAKE UP" screamed Matt. Dom woke up with a fright and snapped back into reality.  
>"ohhh great" he thought "Matt must have knocked me out" As in answer to his Question Matt learned over him and said "Oh yeah, sorry Dom, I think I might have hit you a little too hard back there" he said as he scratched at the back of his head.<br>"You know something..." Dom said sitting up "For a short, skinny man with terrible foot oder, you can really pack a punch" he said rubbing his arm.

Which is kind of true, My friends and I recon that you could poke Matt Bellamy and he'd fall over...naww poor matty :) anyway...

4hrs Later

MUSE were all heading to the lounge room. The boys walked over and placed their coffee and what-not on the coffee table. Then Matt picked their plate of 'Scones' and placed it on the little sqaure table that was in between 2 of the 3 different coloured arm chairs.  
>(just for the record I have no idea what Scones are I just read that its a food that English people eat)<br>Matt, Dom and Chris sat down and eased into the chairs.  
>Dom sat in the yellow chair, Chris sat in the light blue one and Matt sat in the bright red chair.<br>*KNOCK KNOCK* there was a knock at the door ~ ughh, im so obvious.  
>Matt checked his watch, then screamed so loudly "CHRIIIIISSSSSSSSSSSSSSS" Chris blinked.<br>"CHRIS" "CHRIS" "CHRIS" "CHRIS" "CHRIS" "CHRIS" "CHRIS" "CHRIS" "CHRIS" "CHRIS" "CHRIS" "CHRIS" "CHRIS" "CHRIS" "CHRIS" "CHRIS" "CHRIS" "CHRIS" "CHRIS" "CHRIS" "CHRIS" "CHRIS" "CHRIS" "CHRIS" "CHRIS" "CHRIS" "CHRIS" "CHRIS" "CHRIS" "CHRIS" "CHRIS" Matt stopped for a moment.  
>CHRIS" "CHRIS" "CHRIS" "CHRIS" "CHRIS" "CHRIS" "CHRIS" "CHRIS" "CHRIS" "CHRIS" "CHRIS" "CHRIS" "CHRIS" "CHRIS" "CHRIS" "CHRIS" "CHRIS" "CHRIS" "CHRIS" "CHRIS" "CHRIS" "CHRIS" CHRIS"<br>"CHRIS" "CHRIS" "CHRIS" "CHRIS" "CHRIS" "CHRIS" "CHRIS" "CHRIS" "CHRIS" "CHRIS" "CHRIS" "CHRIS" "CHRIS" "CHRIS" "CHRIS" "CHRIS" "CHRIS" "CHRIS" "CHRIS" "CHRIS" "CHRIS" Chris was about to get up and answer the door. "no...I'll get it" said Matt and dashed to the door.  
>"Hey do you realize that we all sat in the chairs that are our favourite colours" said Chris.<br>"WTF, I didn't know you could talk" said Kate Hudson at Chris, entering the room with Matt who had just walked out the other door.  
>"Nice to see you too" mumbled Chris. Kate Hudson put her bag down and sat in the empty red chair.<br>Matt came back in holding a single Scone on a plate and then stood in front of Kate Hudson.  
>His eye twitched. "Is something wrong honey?" smiled Kate Hudson up at her new rockstar boyfriend.<br>"Oh no nothing's wrong..." said Matt and kneeled down "It's just.." Matt said taking her hand in his.  
>"is he seriously going to propose in a rented cabin?" thought Dom.<br>"It's just what?" repeated Kate Hudson with a big smile spreading across her face.  
>"it's just that..." Matt said stroking her hand, "It's Just that your in my seat!" he said very fast in an angry mannor.<br>"Oh..." she said very un-amused. "Why can't we both sit here?" she said smiling.  
>"I would let you normally but...this chair is red" he said handing her the plate with a Scone on it and turing around,<br>Matt gave Dom a look. Dom rolled his eyes at Matt "Fine" Dom said getting up and sitting in Chris lap.  
>Matt pointed to the empty yellow chair an made a retarted sound, it was more of a grunt that cave men would do. It sounded like "ueh" I think there should be a g in ther somewhere. anyway.<br>Kate Hudson stood up and sat in the yellow chair.  
>MUSE and Kate Hudson were all chatting away happily when...<p> 


	7. Wilderbeast

Kate Hudson took a bite of her 'Scone' and put it ON THE COFFEE TABLE!  
>"NOOOOOOOO" Screamed MUSE at the same time and all lept up and pointed simutainiously at the Scone on a plate.<br>Kate Hudson looked at Matt confused. "what?" said Kate Hudson. "What did I do?" she said worried.  
>"I'll tell you what ya did" said Dom before Dom could actually say it Chris butted in.<br>"YOU PUT THE FREAKIN' SCONE ON THE COFFEE TABLE!" bellowed Chris in his low manly-man voice.  
>"huh?" Kate Hudson said scratching her head.<br>"IT'S A COFFEE TABLE!" Screamed Matt Dom and Chris.  
>"So what?" said Kate Hudson. She looked over at her boyfriend for an answer, he was too busy frowning at her.<br>"UGHHHHHHHH" Matt suddley yelled. He put his hand on Kate Hudson's shoulder and turned her around so she was facing him.  
>"Lemme Explain" He said loudly. "Look" he said poitnting at her Scone on a plate. "Do you see that?" he said and raised his eyebrows.<br>"what...my Scone?" She said with the same facial expression.  
>"Yes the bloody Scone!" Dom snapped.<br>"what's your point?'" said Kate Hudson arching an eyebrow.  
>"Can you drink it?" said Matt staring at his girlfriend intestley. Kate Hudson was a little freaked out by that question. She thought for a moment.<br>"No" She said finally. Matt smiled.  
>"Exactly!" He said and hugged her warmly. Kate Hudson pushed him back just a little. "I still don't get it" she said cautiosly.<br>"FOR THE LOVE OF PETE WENTZ" -guy from Fall Out Boy Matt screeched!  
>"Is your Scone Coffee!" Matt screamed in her face.<br>"No!" she sreamed right back at him.  
>"Is it made from Coffee!" he yelled "No!" she yelled.<br>"THEN IT DOESN'T BELONG ON THE COFFEE TABLE!" He screamed VERY loudly.  
>"MOVE YOUR SCONE AND ALL IT'S CONTECE TO SOMEWHERE ELSE" He yelled and pointed to an empty table pushed up against the wall.<br>Kate Hudson thought for a moment.  
>Then she stopped and put her hand up to Matt's face and took his cheek in her hand.<br>"Oh Matt" she said and smiled brightly as he relaxed into her hand and sighed. "YOUR CRAZY! THE LOT OF YOU ARE BONKERS!"  
>She yelled and slapped Matthew Bellamy across the face.<br>"It's so over" he said and flicked her hand up at him in a girly-girlish mannor , as to say ' talk to the hand' Matt didn't paticulary like talking to the hand. So he replied in a girlish tone. Well a gay tone for him.  
>"Oh yeeeh girlfriend! It's totahlly ovah" and batted his eyelids girlishly and giggled.<br>Kate Hudson stood there with her mouth wide open.  
>"I can't belive you just did that to me" she said as she growled and stoormed out of the room and out the door scowling like a wilderbeast. (wtf)<br> 


	8. Matt is a Homosexual

Matt woke up remember he is and will not ever be with that soul-eating-destroying-evil-evil-annyoing-pumpkin Kate Hudson. Matt rubbed his eyes and then rolled out of bed. "Oh man,..." he said as he got of the floor and looked in the mirror. "I knew this would happen If I grew my hair long" he said running a hand through his hair.  
>"I'm Gay" he said as he thew on a pink shirt. "Hmmmm..I wonder if there's a chance of Belldom" he said grinning. "Ewww" said Chris randomly walking into Matt's room.<br>"Oh uh..Hey Chris, I didn't see you there" Matt said sitting down beside Chris on the bed. "Wazzup" Matt said to Chris. "Uhhh..." said Chris. "Bombdiggity" said Matt.  
>"..." said Chris. *Ahem* said Chris as he cleard his throat. "I came here to ask if you would be in- Chris stopped talking as he noticed Matt had put his hand ontop of his.<br>"Maatt" said Chris. "Yess" said Matt. "DONT YOU DARE TRY AND HOLD HANDS WITH ME " he said freeing his hand from underneath Matt's. "But..I'm lonley" said Matt sniffeling.  
>"Oh you'll be fine" said Chris. "Anyway wanna come with me and Dom to a bakery?" Chris said joining Dom who was now standing in the door way.<br>"Erm...Bakery?" asked Matt as he got up and started combing his hair to the side. "Yeah!" said Dom excitedly. "They've got puppies" said Dom.  
>"Puppies? Puppies?" Matt repeated over and over. "Okay Shut up" said Dom. "We'll get some so you won't be a gay loner anymore" said Chris.<br>"Okay cool banana's" said Matt. "You ready?" said Dom. "Yes, just let me grab my hand bag and then we're off" said Matt. Matt emerged with a pink and rainbow little shoulder bag. "Okay boys, letsgo!" said Matt pushing past them. "Since when did you have that?" Chris said. "Oh..what, this old thing?" Matt said. "I've had it for years, maybe we can go and do a little shopping afterwards" said Matt getting into the car excitedly. Dom and Chris just looked at eachother and clamberd in the limo after him. Their driver was some random chick called Rebecca who woudn't shut up. Muse decided that they would press the button that raised the wall thing that connects the driver to the passangers. The driver lowerd the wall again. Matt raised it. The driver lowerd it. this went on for hours until finally Chris just gave Matt and Dom a pair of head phones while they all listen to Chris's iPod to drown out the was in a cheeky mood and pressed the button again and raised the wall and BAM The death stare took place. While the driver and Matt where eyeing eachother the driver wasn't watching the road and ran over justin bieber. The world was silent. "Wow JB are you okay?" cried the Limo Driver as she got out of the car and ran to his side. Justin Bieber slowley raised his head. "I'm...I'm fine" he said with a smile AND HIS TEETH SPARKELED WOW-OH WOW! "Is he alright?"called Chris winding down the window. "Yep" The Driver called back. Matt wasn't paying attention and leaned across Chris to see what was going on..  
>"Daanng" he said.<br>"What?" said Dom.  
>"He's not dead.." said Matt fixing his hair, and then leaning out the window.<br>"C'mon sweetheart, don't got all day!" he said impatienly and tapped the roof of the car.  
>Everyone rolled their eyes and the driver got back in and started the engine and started to drive off.<br>"Heeyyy waaaaiiit!" cried Justin Bieber after them. "WHAT" Yelled the driver stopping the car suddenly.  
>Justin caught up and lent against the window to catch his breath. "Dont...you *breath* need *breath* to take me *breath* to *beath* the hospital?"<br>Everyone was silent. A cricket chirped. Matt started blankley. There was a looonng pause,  
>"You hit me with YOUR car!" screamed JB. "erm...no...no i don't think so" said Matt causually in his british accent.<br>Justin Bieber began to whine like a little brat which Matt couldn't handle anymore. "STEP ON IT!"" he yelled so high pitched it sounded like Micro Cuts.  
>The driver started driving. "HeYy CoME BaCK!" said Justin Bieber who was starting to spaz out.<br>"Oh no we gotta runner" said Chis looking back worriedly. Justin Bieber was running after the car like some pro athlete.  
>"for heavens sake!" mutterd Dom. "What, What?" asked Chris. "Matt's turned Emo!" he said pointing to Matt. Matt's eyes peered out from his messy black hair that he combed over his face to have a fringe. He completey ruined his gay hand bag by drawing skulls on it and a little picture of a chicken. "What!" said Chris. "Dude you were gay like 2 seconds ago!" screamed Chris!<br>Dom's eyes winded. "OH DEAR LORD NOT RED LIGHTS!" Sure enough there were red lights ahead and JB was still chasing the car.  
>"oh dear" said Matt totally un-amused (love that word). Justin Biber latched onto the car. "AGHHHHH" screamed everyone (except Matt) who started crying. "Hold on a minute" said the driver as she turned the corner sharply. Justin Bieber fell off the car and into a cheesecake factory where he belongs. The driver pulled up infront of the bakery.<br>"FINALLYY!" everyone screamed. (except Matt [again]) who just sat their starring at the back of the drivers chair. He then stopped and poked her in the arm.  
>"Yes?" she asked. "Do you have any eye-liner?" he asked like a 4 year old. The driver looked at Dom and Chris for answers but they were just as clueless. She handed him the eye-liner from the glove box. Matt put it on and looked like a total emo. Without a word he got out of the car and straight into the hairdressers next to the bakery. He didn't make an appointment though. He doesn't need to he's MATT BELLAMY. He came out after four seconds with messy BLUE hair.<br>(i love him with blue hair!)  
>He got back into the car like nothing had happend. Everyone just starred and got out of the car. The driver went to go..ummm idk..drive while MUSE were at the bakery.<br>The little bell on hanging from the door rung as they enterd the shop. Above the counter hung a sign that read "Thom's Muffin Express".  
>Chris tilted his head as he pointed to it. "Hey" he said curiously. "Isn't it spelt the same way as Thom Yorke name Matt?" he asked suspisiously. Matt simply stood there not even blinking. "Your dead to me" he said plainy with his arms crossed. "hey hey hey!" said a voice from somewhere behind the counter. Thom Yorke appeard from behind it with his eyes closed and a beaming smile. "My first customers!" he exclaimed excitedly. "Now, how can I help you?" he said finally opening his eyes. When he saw who it was his smile dropped into a large frown. "Oh no" he said dully. "If it isn't Muse" he scoffed. Dom dressed in his leopard jacket, Chris with his weird curly hair and...Matt with blue hair...and why is he emo?" Thom asked amused. "I have no idea." said Chris. "He was gay before" said Dom. Matt smiled and flicked his hair up to the side. "No, no I'm joking I still am" he said taking the bottle of water on the counter and pouring it over his head. The blue colour washed out and onto the floor. Matt took out some lip-stick from his hand bag and appied enough to make him look like strawberry sunburst lollipop. "Umm so...your..like uhhh gay now?" asked Thom Yorke rasing an eyebrow. "Uh huh" Matt said nodding and fixing his hair again. "Well, okay then" said Thom Yorke opening the door behind him. "Well then, everyone if you'd like to come this way" he said as he pushed Muse through the door. "Oh and Matt" he said calling after him. Matt looked over his shoulder. "Keep your distance from me you sick freak" Thom said shutting the door. Matt just stood there wondering if he should react or not. He then got distracted by Puppies!<br>"Awww Dommy look how cute this one is" he said picking it up and shoving it into his hand bag. "How utterly stylish!" he said clicking his fingers and started to walk like a girl.  
>Thom Yorke had enough of this, he threw a banana at Matt. Matt squealed and looked at the banana at his feet. He picked it up and inspected it, Matt sniffed the banana and then slowley peeled it and took a tiny bite and BAM KABLAMO OTHER SUPER COOL DESCRIBING WORDS, DAGNABIT, MATT BELLAMY WAS BACK!<br>He scoffed the whole banana down in 1.3 bites. "Yay Matt's back" said Dom and Chris at the same time and ran over and hugged him.  
>Matt smiled. "Where did I go?" he asked sarcastlically. Thom Yorke stepped up to Matt. Matt frowned. Thom Yorke stutterd, he was trying to say something nice to him but was having dificulties, he sighed and started his sentance again. "As much as I hate you..." he said. "I like you better this way as you are" he said his voice trailing off.<br>Matt smiled and tears formed in his eyes. He closed the space between him and Thom Yorke and hugged him. "Thankyou" he said.  
>Thom Yorke didn't know how to react he'd never recieved a hug before. Dom and Chris hand to do hand moves to show him. Thom finally got it and put his arms around Matt's back and started crying Dom and Chris also joined in the hug. (Awwwww) They stopped hugging and Muse invited Thom Yorke over for tea tonight. Thom Yorke gladly acceppted and waved good-bye to his new friends! Dommeh called the crazy Muse fan driver to come and pick them up. It was about 5:30, they'd lost track of time.<br>The Limo pulled up and Muse got in. Matt pressed the button again and put the wall up. "DUDE!" he heared from in the front seat. They thought she'd press it but she didn't.  
>Muse were all chatting away on what they are going to do for there new album. "Well, I think we should definantly do..." Matt stopped talking licked his lips again and again.<br>"What?" said Dom and Chris. Matt rubbed his lips with his sleeve. "Why do my lips tasye funny?" he asked annoyed. Dom chuckled. "Your wearing lip-stick silly".  
>He said. Matt spat on the floor, "Eww gross" he said and whiped more lip-stick into his sleeve. "Stop it Matt you'll ruin your shirt, use some tissues" said Chris.<br>Matt leaned over and grabbed his hand bag. He raised the hand bag to his face and glared at it. "Are you seriously going to keep that?" Dom asked raising his eye brows.  
>Matt shrugged "Yeah I suppose so" he said placing it on his lap. "No way you can't be serious, its for girls" said Chris. Matt looked at it, "No,...No Chris, it's a man-bag you idiot"<br>"Man-Bag!" exclaimed Chris. "Don't encourage him" whispheard Dom to Chris. Matt opened the zip to his bag and a puppy jumped out. "Oh yeah, I forgot all about you!" said picking up the adroable puppy and kissing it's head. "Nawww" he said sweetly. The puppy wagged it's little tail. Dom and Chris didn't seem to notice. Matt rememberd Hendrix who is now actually living in LA. God knows how he booked a flight from within a wall - but he did. Matt then looked at Dom and watched him laugh as Chris was being a funny man again. "Shh, it's okay" Matt said as he placed his jacket over the dogs head. He tapped Dom on the shoulder. Dom turned around. "Yep" he said smiling. "I know it's already been your birthday but, ummm happy birthday Dominic" Matt said taking his jacket off the puppy and handing it to Dom. Dom's eyes lit up. "OHMYGOSH!" he screamed. "Awww thankyou so much Matthew!" he screamed excitedly. They gave the puppy their attetion for the rest of the way home. The puppy ended up curling up and falling asleep on Chris's lap.  
>It was now about 7:00 and they just got home. Thom Yorke shou'd be here in a few minutes for dinner. Muse waved good-bye to their driver as she left and they went inside to start making a lovley vegeterian meal from their new friend Thom Yokre (since he's like vegan or something). Dom carried in his puppy and let it explore it's new little house. It went crazy becaus the house was so big. "Just wait till we get back home, he'll go absolutley bonkers" said Matt as he pulled out a baking tray. Muse all huddeled around THE COOK BOOK. "Okay let's see here" Matt anounced as he read aloud from the cook book. "Okay, step one, we need some plates". Matt walked to the cupboard that hung over the stove and attempted to open the cupbaord door. Matt was on his tippy-toes now and could still not do it. Chris laughed. "Here, let me little fellow" Chris said opening the cupboard and taking aout some plates. "Don't call me a 'little fellow'" exclaimed Matt. Dom and Chris just laughed. <div> 


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